ode to oddities

What's good losers?

First thing's first, sorry for not updating as frequently as I mentioned I would. I just got caught up in college stuff and it was so hard to keep myself sane.

Since it is semester break and I have nothing on my hands, I decide to make the most of my time (which is just 2 weeks by the way since I have to go back to campus a week early for an event). I have started to pick up books again, and that joy of being immersed in your own world, I felt that again. I missed it.

The first book I picked up was Rainbow Rowell's Carry On.Since I have read 'Fangirl' a few years back, I was pleasantly surprised the author released a book detailing Simon and Baz.  Frankly speaking I wanted to get the book ages ago but I kept putting it off because I felt like I needed to save money. And I definitely regret that I did not pick up any sooner.

Just like other of Rainbow Rowell's books, the I absolutely love the characters and their perks. I found myself hating Penny,Agatha and Baz at first but then realised that I judged too fast. But I still lowkey hated what Agatha did to Simon. Baz is a hot f*cker by the way, there I said it.

I would rant on more but I assume that most of you hadn't read that book yet, so I don't want to spoil it in case you had the intention of reading it. There will also be a sequel to it coming out September 2019 (hopefully) and I'm already thinking about pre-ordering it.

Hello losers.
Only a month since my previous update? Frankly amused with myself that I'm still trying to keep this blog alive. I know that probably nobody keeps up with it until now though since I don't post on my social media accounts whenever there's an update. I won't mind if there isn't an audience to begin with. It would be as if I am writing a diary. If you cared enough you would visit here once every blue moon.

Early and mid January was okay. The end was a little bit shaky. Felt betrayed and left out but that's okay. Nothing new about that since I've been dealing with the same issue since school days. The only difference is that now I did not care as much as I did back then. If you want to leave me out, fine by me, I have nothing to lose either way. It was probably my own blunder to begin with, letting people in again without being cautious.

Well, sometimes a reminder is all it takes to keep building my walls up again.

To those who's had my back, thank you. Never in a million years would I thought that you would be the ones to hear my rants and help me get back up.

Exhausting and emotionally draining month.

Here's to February.

Cheers.
xo

Hello losers.
It has been awhile since my last update.

Initially, I planned to do an update on New Year's eve but I guess I just forgot. I just wanted to summarise how my year went and all that. It might be nothing to most of you but to me, a way to note what I should change for 2019.

Last year I pretty much hit rock bottom a couple of times. Had a few rough patches but I picked myself back up with the help of a couple people who has been my pillar of support when I was unable to get back on my two feet (Shout out to them! You know who you are :D ). Along the way, I have learned to let people go, knowing that the few I have now are enough to keep me happy. Selfish in a way, but after all I'm the one in charge of my own happiness. I learned to take it easy on myself, especially this semester because I realise the more I push myself (i.e. study all night with no sleep, worry non-stop, self-doubt), the worse I feel about who I am and that led to a very dark period of my life that I am somehow grateful for but I am  more willing for it to be forgotten. I understood that I should not be so selfless to the point I often got used and stepped on by people who I genuinely used to care for and that unfortunately caused my own destruction and to that I put my foot down and say, no more.

To be frank, my life has gotten a lot better once I started to take it easy on myself. I know my limits and I learned to respect them and not push too much and as a result, I'm proud to say it has been turning out good so far. Entering the final trimester of the 2018, I felt more fulfilled, free and happy. I promised myself that I would spend more time with my family during this semester break and I'm glad that I fulfilled my promise.

Some photos taken during this whole 3 weeks (No captions because I'm a sloth to think of one) :-